Parts Integration

Step 1:

Clarify in your mind the two sides of what you are struggling with. It might be that you feel torn between two choices, have conflicting feelings about something or someone, or are undecided about an issue. You may find yourself saying, “There’s a part of me that makes me do X and I don’t like it.” Or, “I want A and I also want B but I can’t have both.” An example of an inner conflict would be that an individual vacillates between being a very aggressive, demanding person and then being withdrawn and timid, and these extremes cause problems for them.

Step 2:

Now that you have clarified your inner conflicting parts, hold your hands, palms up, in front of you and imagine that you are holding these two opposing aspects of yourself, one in each hand. Allow your mind to create an image of each of these aspects, or parts, of yourself. Notice how you feel as you focus on each image and how they appear in your mind’s eye: How big do they seem to be? Do they feel heavy or light? What shape are they? Is there a color? Do they appear as a photograph or are they moving? Our parts are very real and have definite energies associated with them and we think of them in certain ways. Just notice.

Step 3:

Every part of us is ultimately trying to achieve something that is to our benefit – a positive intention or valuable function of some kind – despite its troublesome behavior. The valuable function/positive intention is separate from the behavior and we can find it when we are quiet and ask ourself. Consider each part that you are holding in your hands and allow this positive intention to emerge into your awareness. Ask yourself, as you focus on one image and then the other, what is the positive intention or useful purpose of this part? In other words, what is it attempting to do for you that is positive: Protect you? Relaxation? Enjoy time with family or friends? Be productive? Feel a sense of belonging? What might it be?

Step 4:

Now begin to recognize and name the skills and abilities that each of these parts of yourself has. Every part of us has something of value, a useful resource. Perhaps, one part is very capable at managing time, or kicking back and relaxing, or is creative. Allow the useful talents of each part to become clear…and as this happens, these parts will, either quite suddenly or more slowly, begin to understand and appreciate the resources that the opposing part has to offer.

Step 5:

As this new appreciation that each part has for the other grows stronger, face your palms toward the middle and notice, as your hands begin to move slowly together, that each part becomes willing to merge. They bring their resources, skills, and abilities together so both parts can be more effective in achieving their positive intentions, which they, and you as a whole, have realized is of benefit to them and to you. Very slowly move your hands toward the center until they join together, allowing the images and energies to merge together. Take your time – if it feels like they don’t want to come together, simply breathe and allow time for them to adjust and the change to happen. There is a real energy shift taking place and it may take a minute or two.

Step 6:

As your hands come together in the middle, the two parts have fully merged. Open your hands and become aware of the new image you are holding and the change in your feelings. The new image may be some combination of the previous images, or it may be completely different. Notice how this new image appears: weight, color, moving or still, etc. and how you would describe your feelings now.

Step 7:

To complete this process of change, slowly bring your hands to your body where you want to welcome in this newly integrated part of yourself that now contains the best of both of the former conflicting parts. Take as much time as you need to fully absorb these integrated energies as the new learnings, new neural pathways, and new ways of being are incorporated into your cellular structure.

Step 8:

Pause and become aware of how you feel and what you are thinking. In what ways do feel different than when you started this process? What new options come to mind? How does the future look now? What do you now see as possibilities for resolution? Think of a time in the future when this new part of yourself will be fully expressed and useful in your life and how different that already is.

Step 9:

Take a moment to consider how things have changed and then as you go through your day notice how you think differently about the issue.